I had 4 consecutive orgasms and I wrote a short story

Okay so I might delete this post later but I just HAD to say that like- it was so intense my eyes were welled up with tears afterwards. Is this TMI? Probably. The time before finals is always wild.

This was the MOST INSANE week of my life. I mean like school was totally stressing me out, and it was probably the worst (mon-fri) week of my life.

But this weekend I wrote a 3,800 short story I'm not even finished with and I also saw Josh from Drake and Josh walking down the street and IDK...I feel closer to a higher power now than ever.

I don't even know how I did it. I had never even had 2 consecutive before but...wowowowoowowwwWOWW WOW!!!! W O W 

I fucked up part 4: "The sequel"

Whoo hoo part four! This will be short-
One of Clark's friends messaged me on facebook saying something like

"Hey, this is weird because we've never met before, but I'm a friend of Clark's. He used to talk about you a lot, but he just told me to never mention you again. So I was wondering- What the heck did he do?"

I explained the situation and how I felt really, really violated etc, etc, etc....and he said he would talk to Clark and see if he could get anymore info out of him. And Clark just told him the same think he told me, that it was supposed to be just a prank on Maddie and that he put my name in by accident. Only I KNOW that's not what happened because he was doing it to BOTH Maddie and I. How could he have accidentally believed he was pranking one person while accidentally leaking the personal info of another? What a freak.

Whatever. There is no way I am ever talking to that creep again. 

I fucked up part 3: The finale

Didn't think this post would get a part 3!!?!!? You were wronG!

Only this time IT WASNT ME WHO FUCKED UP!!!

Last night I got a weird call, and I thought it was this weird french guy who calls me sometimes. But I started getting multiple calls from different numbers and weird texts and it was strange. I answered the phone and some guy said my name is a really breathy voice and I hung up. I just put my phone on silent and left it in the other room.

Then I got a text saying "Hey there, you probably know this by now but some moron put all your private information up online. Sorry :-/"

I texted back and I was like "Hi, I'm really scared, can you please tell me who posted my stuff and where?"

They sent me a link to a fucking 4chan thread. I didn't even know people still use 4chan. The thread was really long and it started with a screen cap of a conversation that me and Clark were having.

Basically it was people responding to the thread of what Clark should say to me and this other girl named Maddie he was texting at the same time. Most of the responses were sexual, which I didn't catch on when he was sending them to me because I just thought he was joking around. The advice people were giving him was like

"Let her text you first. Don't reply without waiting first. Manipulate the hell out of her. You're in charge."

There were more screenshots of our conversations, some photos, and I started to feel so, so, so, stupid for trusting this guy. But how was I supposed to know>???

At one point someone pointed out that Clark was "Too much of a f*ggot to censor the girl's numbers" so then post of the responses changed to "Calling girls and telling them OP is a f*ggot".

I texted Clark and was like "Um...strange question...did you post my personal information online?"

And he was like "Yeah but I'm so so so sorry I was trying to play a prank on my friends Maddie and your names are similar sorry"

SMH that is the weakest defense ever!! What the hell cuzz, you think i'm buyin that shit?

I got more phone calls, maybe 15 or 20, from these disgusting 4chan MRA dude bros and stupidly enough Clark kept adding on to the thread. His last post was "Thanks for all the attention f*ggots, I finally got one of my threads to the top of 4chan." Then he texted me, "I feel really shitty." So I said "Please loose my number. Have a nice life."

Okay I was tired at the time and I realize that it's lose, not loose, but I'm sure he got my point. He took the thread down- i checked this morning.

Bad news: I feel completely violated and I just want to go and hide in a cave

Good news: I totally don't care about boys anymore! Why should I? They're gross and I hate them! I don't care about Jack, I don't care about Clark. I'm never giving my phone number away again!!!! THE ENDD!!!!

I fucked up part. 2

So I...deleted "Jack"'s number and I really think that's for the best. This way if he ever wants to talk to me he can but I won't be texting him (just cuz I can) and then not get a response. Then I deactivaed my facebook which was totally innevitable even withought the recent events just because it was becomeing really distracting. And it was going to drive me crazy just like having those awkward messages I sent just laying out  :(((((((((( ew I am disgusted with myself

I really hope things work out with Clark. I really do like him and I very much regret not kissing him. So I texted him that and he said, 'It's okay, there's always next time :)" which makes me hopeful. I hope Jack doesn't do anything like go up to him and say "Oh, maisie told me that you told her what I said" but i don't think that's going to happen.

But while I'm writing stuff out I'd just like to say I am really bummed because my Sims game glitched out and wouldn't let me play any of my towns so I had to delete all my families, and one of them I had spent nearly 3 months working on, it was on like the 3rd generation and I had designed my entire house and spent a really long time on it. I really miss my stupid sims and I don't feel like making new ones (But I probably will, eventually). 

I FUCKED uP!!!!!!

Okay heere is my boy problem!!!

I liked this boy!! Let's say his name was....ugh what's a boy name.....Jack!!! I don't like that name. Whatever!

Jack was funny and we had similar opinions and he texted me everyday which I liked a lot!!!!!!! We went out 3 times, it was totally platonic, and then things got a little akward towards the last time so he stopped texting me at all and our conversations were very short everytime I texted him and I was so so so so sad!!!!!!!!!!!!! What did I do wrong?!??!?!?!?!???/ I didn't know! but I got over it!!!!

Then I started talking to another guy...named.....Clark. Oh god that name is even worse. Okay so I met Clark on tinder and he was really nice and we went to the movies today! And it just so happened that he and Jack go to the same stupid school! And it's a small school so everyone knows eachother! So Clark asked Jack about me and this is what he said

"Maisie....yeah...I had a thing for her a while ago but not anymore. She takes bad photos but she's hot in real life." 

UGH GIJ????

I said to clark "No way"
and he was like "yeah"
and I was like "Seriously?"
And he was like "Yeah"
and I was like "No way."

I wasn't really mad about the photo thing, even though a month earlier Jack had said I take really good photos. I was just mad that he HAD liked me and I HAD liked him back and nothing ever happened and GOD DARN IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Why!>!>

Well anyways the rest of the date was good and he showed me his car and we laid in the back seat for a bit and then my mom came to pick me up and he tried to kiss me but i got nervious andn ii iiii hugged him instead and nnnn ooo hgod

OH GOD! HWHAT IS THE HECK WRONG WITH ME????? WHY CANT I EVER TELL WBEN THIGNS ARE HAPPENING WHY CANT I JUST BE SMOOTH THTHTHTTH IT$HI$@IIO++++++++__ IT was not  A good day for MAISIe!!!!!!!!!

AND THEN I MADE IT WORSE CUZ I MESSAGED JACK ON FACEBOOK AND ASKED HIM ABOUT IT WHY OH WHY

Me: Jack!!!
Me: !!!!!!!!
Me: Clark told me what you said!!!
Me: Don't get mad at him though!!!!!!
Jack: Wait
Jack: That I said what
Me: That you liked me briefly???
Jack: Oh, well I said that we hung out a lot if that's what he meant
Me: Oh okay! That makes sense!
Jack: Haha how are you?
Me: I'm really good, how about you?
Jack: I'm great
Me: That's really good! How's standup?
Jack: (No response)


WELL THAT WAS MY FUCKING DAY GOODBYE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

sum thoughts

i tried liquid eyeliner for the first time yesrterday- i can tell it will change my life

i want to go through all 501 of my tinder matches but wow that would take a long time and i don't really want to talk to slimyyyyy tinder boysss

greys anatomy is so good

i have no plans this weekend besides getting my dirvers permitt

tthhteeee end

Ouija Drama

So....Me and Clara did Ouija. We used this board that her Very Scary friend Valentine made for her sister's satanist dinner party. I played some RihRih because I was already FREAKED before we started.

We had a white Jesus candle, a silver coin, sage, incense, and a love stone as planchette for protection... and even with ALL THAT scary stuff still happened. I made Clara be the medium because I didn't want to be the one to get possessed (lol) so she did most of the talking.

The Phanchette moved quickly, and when it started going I swear it felt like my soul was leaving my body. It went to a bunch of numbers: 9, 7, 2, and then we closed the board and did a salt ring because it seemed like nothing was really getting through. But it was still so freaky that it was moving all by itself aa ahaaahhha ahhhhh

So later on we were just watching TV and Clara googled some Ouija board directions that very clearly stated that if the ouija board is counting down that means you have contacted a bad spirit and my body got very cold and I could feel my heart beat in my temples.

Well I couldn't sleep aT ALL that night and Clara's room was like 100+ degrees but I was too scared to sleep without a sheet covering me and a pillow on my head. Then at 2 AM I got a nose bleed just because I was so stressed. I was so sweaty and it was so gross and I had like 10 scary dreams that one of us got possesed and that the board spelled out "666".

Maybe I'll do Ouija again? I am just not messing around with whatever the hell we contacted at Clara's house. 

Monday High: Stuff im Jazzed about

So the guy I like, that I have liked since maybe the beginning of summer, used to text me a lot. And then he stopped. And then he went on a date with someone else. And I don't even know was our relationship was. I think I read into it a little too much. But I was feelin pretty bummed, because I haven't been doing much lately.

Isn't there a church quote that's like: Idle hands are the devil's playground or something? Whatever. I was focusing too much on a high school guy because that was becoming the only interesting thing in my life. Which is L A M E!

So I'm signing up for 2 film classes on Saturday that im super excited about! Well, maybe 1, but hopefully 2, because one is just Film and the other one is Directing Film. And I want to get back into Yoga again. I feel like Yoga is suuuuper socal, but I did it when I was in sixth grade and it was good with the whole pre-pubescent anger thing.

And track conditioning will start soon (I miss track so much, dang) and Grey's anatomy comes back on sept. 25 (yeeesss) I'm on a major medical drama kick right now. I'm on an avocado kick too. Why have I never realized how good avocados are until now?

Some other stuff: My photography class is really cool!

Yuh thats the stuff keeping me warm at night and this is the first time i'm being optimistic since i started school lmao bye

PS this fucking buzzfeed video changed my life i did three face masks in one night
PPS I'll try to post some summer pics later this week 

✞ Fake it till ya fuckin make it ✞

I'm agnostic but spiritual. I believe in tarot cards, fortune telling, ghosts...But I'm not religious. And I'm taking a theology class this summer at my catholic high school where being Catholic and being non-Catholic is the difference between and A and a B.

So I have decided to bullshit the entire class. I've B.S.'d and essay before, no problem. I've made up a story about self-discovery and gotten away with an A-. An entire class though...that's going to be difficult. I wish I didn't have to. But my teacher calls atiesths "the a-word" and said, "I'm not trying to single anyone out, but is there anyone who isn't Catholic?" No one raised their hand and she said "Okay, good."

It's especially difficult because this is a Catholic school sex ed class, where we're learning the sacredness of virginity and chastity. The true me wants to stand up and tell everyone that virginity is just a concept and that having sex doesn't change you as a person but the new fake "catholic" me just has to nod along.

Day one wasn't so bad. We had to fill out a personality servey that said ☺Please be honest!☺ At the top. I felt bad but when it asked me, Do you believe in God? I said "✔✔✔✔✔YES✔✔✔✔✔✔"

Day two and I'm holding hands with my friend Issy in class because our desks are close and why not? And out teacher looks at us and asks, "Are you two holding hands? What sort of...activity is this?" I couldn't say no because we were literally holding hands I wasn't going to straight up lie so I just tried to act like it was nothing, like everyone holds hands between desks when they get the chance.

But now she really thinks that I'm a hell bound lesbian, which I normally would have absolutely no problem with but I'm trying to pretend to be a holy catholic saint in order to get a grade. And my friend Issy feels bad now, because she is a lesbian and she doesn't want either of us to be in trouble. It shouldn't be this way. Mother fucker.

I don't like to lie but I need this grade. What would you do? Have a good wednesday.

Love Masisie xxoxoxoxox

ps all these pictures are from the cool christian emojis app

Goodbye Lemon Tree House

I have moved like 4 or 5 times- from Burbank to Hollywood, from California to Connecticut, from America to England...but I only remember moving from America to England and back the second time. It's time to move houses, we've lived in the same teeny home 4EVER. But, as soon as someone buys the house, it's getting knocked down, which is bad for me because I feel like I've known this house 4EVER and I don't want to see it go.

only pics on my computer rn 

Good reasons that the house should be destroyed:
- There are too many problems with it to fix
- All it's problems would stop being a financial burden for my parents
- This means we could travel more
- Me and my sister won't have to share a room- and we have been sharing since 2000
- Srsly this house is too small for a family of tall people
- I love starting over fresh, parting with the past, it's a good feeling.
- I made a deal w/ my mom that I would be totally okay with saying goodbye to the house if i could get a lock on my bedroom door which would be siiiiiick cuz i could sneak in lovers at midnight
- Change of scenery???
- I was bound to move some day
- The house was not built for two adults and two teenagers, it was built for one adult in the 1920's to have an office space and an easy commute to the film studios

Good reasons the house should not be destroyed
- I've known this house a long time
- I won't be able to take my kids here someday and tell them that's where I grew up
- I won't be able to walk over to my best friends house. My best friend moved to Pasadena and then went to boarding school and we rarely talk now. Being close to her old home is just depressing me.
- I'd have go know the house we lived in for 10+ years is being reduced to a pile of rubble. People have had their houses burned down and they've gotten on with their lives.
- My friends said the house was cute I'm not even friends with the ppl that said that anymore so uh
- I'll miss my old way of life (But good riddance eh?)
- THE LEMON TREE

Photo booth <33333333

All in all, I know that parting with the house will be for the best. It's going to be hard for me to say goodbye but maybe the cool parts of the new house will make me stop thinking about it. I still have my parents, my sister clara, and the cat, and we'll all be together.

writing this down has once again, helped a lot. I'll probably post some pictures of the house before it's time to leave.

Anyone have moving advice?

Love Maisie xxoxoxoxooxoxoxoxoxoooxoxxx

Endings

Hi all! It was my last day of my freshman year of high school today. What a strange year! I wish I could say it ended on a high note :-((( Anyways, I'm backing up my computer, so here are some photos I wanted to post before they got deleted.

Sweet lil house you can see from the window of the dance room at school 

Blair at the Korean pizza restaurant where we went on Fridays. Such an optimistic point in my life, I'm really sad its over. 

Shower stalls at a college I don't remember the name of that were giving me a weird vibe

My friend Dylan- She dug a hole in the ground and stuck her nose in it because she said it connected her to the earth and calmed her down. Whatever works man. 

I hope the next time I post I wont be so frikin mad about my excommunication. Then maybe I can explain it. Until then, 

sprng brk

1) I spent like, the entire week watching The Mindy Project. I think I'm finally over the heart break of loosing 30 rock.

2) We went to the beach. I was calling everyone by their Friends names.* A woman from New York stopped to take our photo on a film camera because "we looked so california". It was cool. I gave her my email address so she could send me the picture.

3) My friend Eden sent me 2 letters and 2 polaroids. I cried.

4) I met up with someone I hadn't seen since the last day of junior high. We walked to the park and she peed in the bush. At first it was weird, but in a way, I respect her more now because of it.

5) "Do NOT give anyone more that one piece of butter. I don't care if they beg." - The parting words of this man at the soup kitchen where me, clara, and blair volunteer at.

6) "It's tragic. He's hansom, 30 years old, and worst of all, straight." - James, who also works at soup kitchen.

7) I have a new tradition. It's pizza on friday after soup kitchen. Our waiter remembered us girls from the first time we went to the restaurant, and gave us a plate of maraschino cherries since last time clara got one in her drink and we all wanted one to tie the stem into a knot. It's supposed to prove if you're a good kisser.

8) I also have a new motto. It's a.b.l.f.m.o.t.g. and it means "Always be looking for money on the ground".

There were some so-so things but this is what I'll remember. What did u do?

* Clara is Chandler, Blair is Rachel, Evan is Monica, I am Phoebe, Lucinda is Joey, but no one is Ross because no one likes him.

Darla

Blair, Evan, and Me 

My friend Audrey got me into a party at the W Hotel in Hollywood. I looooooooove the W hotel, let me tell you. We all showed up wearing black. This party was a sweet sixteen hosted by a record label. The girl who was turning sixteen, Darla, had hair like the nicest shade of purple I have ever seen. She got a portia from the record label. There were so many punk bands. Boys with ripped jeans, black hair, black fingernails. Cool party, even if I barely knew anyone. 

As I was riding my scooter, sasha, to work...

Today I was at school, talking to my friends about the time I said the word "Bootyhole" in front of the kids I babysit. I know, I'm glamourous. And professional. Anyways, right as I was saying the word "BOOTYHOLE", like, pretty loud, and more than once, one of our notorious male teachers walked by. (Mr. A, the passive-aggressive vegetarian). All my friends were laughing and laughing, and I covered my face in shame because god damn why do I always say stupid stuff while male teachers are around?

When I looked back up my nose was GUSHING BLOOD and all my friends started freaking out. To my horror, the teacher stopped and turned back around because someone shrieked. I just hid my face again and hoped that he didn't see me but he did and he walked back over, squatted down in front of me and was like "Are you okay?" At this point all my friends were laughing, and I started weeping. So he was like "I know you're in a lot of pain right now, but you need to take a deep breath."

This was probably really funny to my friends but to me, a lot was happening and I was very ashamed, so I didn't take my hands off my face I just kept crying. He said to Clara, "Hold her hand while we walk to the Nurse's office" and Clara was like "Ew, it's covered in blood". But he said, "That's not important right now."

So I had to have 2 of my friends and a man I had just said the word booty hole and cried in front of walk me to the nurses office because I can't stop blood from pouring out of my face. 

Baby's First Witchcraft: Part 2

Me and Clara went to the spirit store today. We talked to a couple people, including this one physic girl who said to me (I was holding the book in the above photograph) "Yeah, that's a good one, but I feel like there's a better one for you on on the shelf." And I thought she was going to get the better book for me, but she just stared at the shelf. So I was like "Can you show me which one it is?" And she said "No, I don't know which book it is, I just feeeel like there's a better one." I was like uh, yeah, that's really helpful.

The physic girl also told us that what we did over the weekend was REALLY DANGEROUS because we didn't clean the space, we didn't use anything for protection, we put out an offering and we're pretty sure someone died in Clara's house. She explained that although our intent was innocent, we opened up the door to anything evil. You do the same thing by using a ouija board (but she called it a spirit board) because you never know who you're contacting.

I was introduced to Wicca which is really cool because the man there explained it as "feminist witchcraft". But maybe the best part of the shop was the candles. There were penis candles, vagina candles, bride and groom candles, all different candles. It smelled really nice in there. We got the red couple candle because we're looking for love. The base of the candle is a heart and I like that the girl is taller than the boy, because both me and clara like people shorter than us.

We tried a proper love spell once it got dark. First I cleaned the space with sage and used crystals + incense for protection. So, you know, I didn't summon something evil for the third time. I really really hope it works! 

Baby's first Witchcraft

I'm not religious. At least I don't think I am. But I do believe in the veil between worlds. I can tell it's getting pretty thin right now because not only have we had several earthquakes, we've had crazy weather and there have been all sorts of strange coincidences. Because Clara keeps running into famous people (She has a really strong spiritual connection) and Mr. J came back to school. Clara explained it a little better on her blog. 

Last night we contacted a spirit for the very first time. We sat out on her older sister's balcony and lit three Jesus candles with squares of Hershey's chocolate in the middle as an offering to the spirit world. We sat criss-cross, holding hands and I played a 13 minute Neutral Milk Hotel song. And we prayed the same way you pray in church, by just talking and hoping someone is listening.

When we started talking, it got a little colder and the wind started blowing. I got really scared. I hadn't been that scared since I accidentally summoned the death card. The song stopped half way through for no reason. A man walked by on the street and I thought it might be the devil so I blew out the candles and we rushed back inside.

Blair's mom went to boarding school, and she and four other girls had the same exact (very satanic) dream one night. When they told a teacher, they all had to be exorcised. Me and Clara thought the same thing might happen to us. It didn't exactly happen like that, but we did have dreams about what we prayed for. 

The next day Clara asked me if I had taken the chocolate back inside after we blew out the candles. I had left it there because it was an offering, but Clara told me that it was gone. So I'm pretty sure we contacted something. Fingers crossed it's something good?

Be Kind Please Rewind

One time, I was looking at a photo from my middle school and I was like "Hah, look at that weirdo! Oh wait, that's me." Then I threw the photo away. The point is I like looking back on the past and laughing about it, but I like moving forward even more. Cheers to a fresh start.