this week was......disgusting......

Firstly, time passes irregularly now. I have no idea what the day is, what the week is, what the time is, almost constantly. I even forget that it's not 2014 sometimes now.

Also, the skin meds I'm taking right now gave me two GIANT cold sores. Not one, but TWO.

I went to a fucking comedy club on a wednesday night to see the guy i've liked since this time LAST YEAR to do stand up. I was all by myself sitting in the back of this cold room with some senior citizens and early 30 year olds there to support their friends. The only other person I knew in the audience was the guy's mom, and she was far away.

So he did his set and then I went outside and congratulated him and then asked him if he was going to stay for the rest of the show, and he was like yeah, I'll see you in there, so I was like cool, and I went back inside.

But he didn't come back inside. I also didn't have my phone on me so there was nothing to do. And I've come to the conclusion that I don't enjoy standup comedy, especially not when I am sitting in the back of a cold room waiting for someone to come and be with me. And I will never seek it out again.

I saw him again after the show and he was totally rude and at this point I had the cold sores under control so that was not the problem and I left the comedy club feeling totally fucking stupid for wasting two hours of my life and good eyeliner.

It is crunch time at track. I have to get up at fucxking 5 am for a meet and because i have a lot of stuff to do at night I'm tired all the time now. I fell asleep on the bus. I close my eyes for long periods of time in class when the teacher can't see me.

Then friday was the worst but also the best. I took this math test and oh my god... I might have felt stupid after the comedy club but I have never in my live felt this academically challenged. I couldn't even finish the test because I was shaking and crying so hard. I want to cry just writing about it. I skipped 3 questions worth 10 points so the best grade I can possibly get is a C. I hate math i hate it I hat eit i hate it.

The good part was going over to my friends house after school. We do so much weird stuff. I should really write about that more often. we saw the new blake lively movie and i will definetly do a post on that later because I';ve seen so many movies this month so a master post is in store...

God I jjust want to keep it togrether these last weeks of school. I am going to bed.

Things to come:
- Layout update
- Disney post
- Movie list and reviews 

I fucked up part 3: The finale

Didn't think this post would get a part 3!!?!!? You were wronG!

Only this time IT WASNT ME WHO FUCKED UP!!!

Last night I got a weird call, and I thought it was this weird french guy who calls me sometimes. But I started getting multiple calls from different numbers and weird texts and it was strange. I answered the phone and some guy said my name is a really breathy voice and I hung up. I just put my phone on silent and left it in the other room.

Then I got a text saying "Hey there, you probably know this by now but some moron put all your private information up online. Sorry :-/"

I texted back and I was like "Hi, I'm really scared, can you please tell me who posted my stuff and where?"

They sent me a link to a fucking 4chan thread. I didn't even know people still use 4chan. The thread was really long and it started with a screen cap of a conversation that me and Clark were having.

Basically it was people responding to the thread of what Clark should say to me and this other girl named Maddie he was texting at the same time. Most of the responses were sexual, which I didn't catch on when he was sending them to me because I just thought he was joking around. The advice people were giving him was like

"Let her text you first. Don't reply without waiting first. Manipulate the hell out of her. You're in charge."

There were more screenshots of our conversations, some photos, and I started to feel so, so, so, stupid for trusting this guy. But how was I supposed to know>???

At one point someone pointed out that Clark was "Too much of a f*ggot to censor the girl's numbers" so then post of the responses changed to "Calling girls and telling them OP is a f*ggot".

I texted Clark and was like "Um...strange question...did you post my personal information online?"

And he was like "Yeah but I'm so so so sorry I was trying to play a prank on my friends Maddie and your names are similar sorry"

SMH that is the weakest defense ever!! What the hell cuzz, you think i'm buyin that shit?

I got more phone calls, maybe 15 or 20, from these disgusting 4chan MRA dude bros and stupidly enough Clark kept adding on to the thread. His last post was "Thanks for all the attention f*ggots, I finally got one of my threads to the top of 4chan." Then he texted me, "I feel really shitty." So I said "Please loose my number. Have a nice life."

Okay I was tired at the time and I realize that it's lose, not loose, but I'm sure he got my point. He took the thread down- i checked this morning.

Bad news: I feel completely violated and I just want to go and hide in a cave

Good news: I totally don't care about boys anymore! Why should I? They're gross and I hate them! I don't care about Jack, I don't care about Clark. I'm never giving my phone number away again!!!! THE ENDD!!!!

I fucked up part. 2

So I...deleted "Jack"'s number and I really think that's for the best. This way if he ever wants to talk to me he can but I won't be texting him (just cuz I can) and then not get a response. Then I deactivaed my facebook which was totally innevitable even withought the recent events just because it was becomeing really distracting. And it was going to drive me crazy just like having those awkward messages I sent just laying out  :(((((((((( ew I am disgusted with myself

I really hope things work out with Clark. I really do like him and I very much regret not kissing him. So I texted him that and he said, 'It's okay, there's always next time :)" which makes me hopeful. I hope Jack doesn't do anything like go up to him and say "Oh, maisie told me that you told her what I said" but i don't think that's going to happen.

But while I'm writing stuff out I'd just like to say I am really bummed because my Sims game glitched out and wouldn't let me play any of my towns so I had to delete all my families, and one of them I had spent nearly 3 months working on, it was on like the 3rd generation and I had designed my entire house and spent a really long time on it. I really miss my stupid sims and I don't feel like making new ones (But I probably will, eventually). 

I FUCKED uP!!!!!!

Okay heere is my boy problem!!!

I liked this boy!! Let's say his name was....ugh what's a boy name.....Jack!!! I don't like that name. Whatever!

Jack was funny and we had similar opinions and he texted me everyday which I liked a lot!!!!!!! We went out 3 times, it was totally platonic, and then things got a little akward towards the last time so he stopped texting me at all and our conversations were very short everytime I texted him and I was so so so so sad!!!!!!!!!!!!! What did I do wrong?!??!?!?!?!???/ I didn't know! but I got over it!!!!

Then I started talking to another guy...named.....Clark. Oh god that name is even worse. Okay so I met Clark on tinder and he was really nice and we went to the movies today! And it just so happened that he and Jack go to the same stupid school! And it's a small school so everyone knows eachother! So Clark asked Jack about me and this is what he said

"Maisie....yeah...I had a thing for her a while ago but not anymore. She takes bad photos but she's hot in real life." 

UGH GIJ????

I said to clark "No way"
and he was like "yeah"
and I was like "Seriously?"
And he was like "Yeah"
and I was like "No way."

I wasn't really mad about the photo thing, even though a month earlier Jack had said I take really good photos. I was just mad that he HAD liked me and I HAD liked him back and nothing ever happened and GOD DARN IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Why!>!>

Well anyways the rest of the date was good and he showed me his car and we laid in the back seat for a bit and then my mom came to pick me up and he tried to kiss me but i got nervious andn ii iiii hugged him instead and nnnn ooo hgod

OH GOD! HWHAT IS THE HECK WRONG WITH ME????? WHY CANT I EVER TELL WBEN THIGNS ARE HAPPENING WHY CANT I JUST BE SMOOTH THTHTHTTH IT$HI$@IIO++++++++__ IT was not  A good day for MAISIe!!!!!!!!!

AND THEN I MADE IT WORSE CUZ I MESSAGED JACK ON FACEBOOK AND ASKED HIM ABOUT IT WHY OH WHY

Me: Jack!!!
Me: !!!!!!!!
Me: Clark told me what you said!!!
Me: Don't get mad at him though!!!!!!
Jack: Wait
Jack: That I said what
Me: That you liked me briefly???
Jack: Oh, well I said that we hung out a lot if that's what he meant
Me: Oh okay! That makes sense!
Jack: Haha how are you?
Me: I'm really good, how about you?
Jack: I'm great
Me: That's really good! How's standup?
Jack: (No response)


WELL THAT WAS MY FUCKING DAY GOODBYE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

sum thoughts

i tried liquid eyeliner for the first time yesrterday- i can tell it will change my life

i want to go through all 501 of my tinder matches but wow that would take a long time and i don't really want to talk to slimyyyyy tinder boysss

greys anatomy is so good

i have no plans this weekend besides getting my dirvers permitt

tthhteeee end

Monday High: Stuff im Jazzed about

So the guy I like, that I have liked since maybe the beginning of summer, used to text me a lot. And then he stopped. And then he went on a date with someone else. And I don't even know was our relationship was. I think I read into it a little too much. But I was feelin pretty bummed, because I haven't been doing much lately.

Isn't there a church quote that's like: Idle hands are the devil's playground or something? Whatever. I was focusing too much on a high school guy because that was becoming the only interesting thing in my life. Which is L A M E!

So I'm signing up for 2 film classes on Saturday that im super excited about! Well, maybe 1, but hopefully 2, because one is just Film and the other one is Directing Film. And I want to get back into Yoga again. I feel like Yoga is suuuuper socal, but I did it when I was in sixth grade and it was good with the whole pre-pubescent anger thing.

And track conditioning will start soon (I miss track so much, dang) and Grey's anatomy comes back on sept. 25 (yeeesss) I'm on a major medical drama kick right now. I'm on an avocado kick too. Why have I never realized how good avocados are until now?

Some other stuff: My photography class is really cool!

Yuh thats the stuff keeping me warm at night and this is the first time i'm being optimistic since i started school lmao bye

PS this fucking buzzfeed video changed my life i did three face masks in one night
PPS I'll try to post some summer pics later this week