✞ Fake it till ya fuckin make it ✞

I'm agnostic but spiritual. I believe in tarot cards, fortune telling, ghosts...But I'm not religious. And I'm taking a theology class this summer at my catholic high school where being Catholic and being non-Catholic is the difference between and A and a B.

So I have decided to bullshit the entire class. I've B.S.'d and essay before, no problem. I've made up a story about self-discovery and gotten away with an A-. An entire class though...that's going to be difficult. I wish I didn't have to. But my teacher calls atiesths "the a-word" and said, "I'm not trying to single anyone out, but is there anyone who isn't Catholic?" No one raised their hand and she said "Okay, good."

It's especially difficult because this is a Catholic school sex ed class, where we're learning the sacredness of virginity and chastity. The true me wants to stand up and tell everyone that virginity is just a concept and that having sex doesn't change you as a person but the new fake "catholic" me just has to nod along.

Day one wasn't so bad. We had to fill out a personality servey that said ☺Please be honest!☺ At the top. I felt bad but when it asked me, Do you believe in God? I said "✔✔✔✔✔YES✔✔✔✔✔✔"

Day two and I'm holding hands with my friend Issy in class because our desks are close and why not? And out teacher looks at us and asks, "Are you two holding hands? What sort of...activity is this?" I couldn't say no because we were literally holding hands I wasn't going to straight up lie so I just tried to act like it was nothing, like everyone holds hands between desks when they get the chance.

But now she really thinks that I'm a hell bound lesbian, which I normally would have absolutely no problem with but I'm trying to pretend to be a holy catholic saint in order to get a grade. And my friend Issy feels bad now, because she is a lesbian and she doesn't want either of us to be in trouble. It shouldn't be this way. Mother fucker.

I don't like to lie but I need this grade. What would you do? Have a good wednesday.

Love Masisie xxoxoxoxox

ps all these pictures are from the cool christian emojis app

Goodbye Lemon Tree House

I have moved like 4 or 5 times- from Burbank to Hollywood, from California to Connecticut, from America to England...but I only remember moving from America to England and back the second time. It's time to move houses, we've lived in the same teeny home 4EVER. But, as soon as someone buys the house, it's getting knocked down, which is bad for me because I feel like I've known this house 4EVER and I don't want to see it go.

only pics on my computer rn 

Good reasons that the house should be destroyed:
- There are too many problems with it to fix
- All it's problems would stop being a financial burden for my parents
- This means we could travel more
- Me and my sister won't have to share a room- and we have been sharing since 2000
- Srsly this house is too small for a family of tall people
- I love starting over fresh, parting with the past, it's a good feeling.
- I made a deal w/ my mom that I would be totally okay with saying goodbye to the house if i could get a lock on my bedroom door which would be siiiiiick cuz i could sneak in lovers at midnight
- Change of scenery???
- I was bound to move some day
- The house was not built for two adults and two teenagers, it was built for one adult in the 1920's to have an office space and an easy commute to the film studios

Good reasons the house should not be destroyed
- I've known this house a long time
- I won't be able to take my kids here someday and tell them that's where I grew up
- I won't be able to walk over to my best friends house. My best friend moved to Pasadena and then went to boarding school and we rarely talk now. Being close to her old home is just depressing me.
- I'd have go know the house we lived in for 10+ years is being reduced to a pile of rubble. People have had their houses burned down and they've gotten on with their lives.
- My friends said the house was cute I'm not even friends with the ppl that said that anymore so uh
- I'll miss my old way of life (But good riddance eh?)
- THE LEMON TREE

Photo booth <33333333

All in all, I know that parting with the house will be for the best. It's going to be hard for me to say goodbye but maybe the cool parts of the new house will make me stop thinking about it. I still have my parents, my sister clara, and the cat, and we'll all be together.

writing this down has once again, helped a lot. I'll probably post some pictures of the house before it's time to leave.

Anyone have moving advice?

Love Maisie xxoxoxoxooxoxoxoxoxoooxoxxx

Endings

Hi all! It was my last day of my freshman year of high school today. What a strange year! I wish I could say it ended on a high note :-((( Anyways, I'm backing up my computer, so here are some photos I wanted to post before they got deleted.

Sweet lil house you can see from the window of the dance room at school 

Blair at the Korean pizza restaurant where we went on Fridays. Such an optimistic point in my life, I'm really sad its over. 

Shower stalls at a college I don't remember the name of that were giving me a weird vibe

My friend Dylan- She dug a hole in the ground and stuck her nose in it because she said it connected her to the earth and calmed her down. Whatever works man. 

I hope the next time I post I wont be so frikin mad about my excommunication. Then maybe I can explain it. Until then, 

sprng brk

1) I spent like, the entire week watching The Mindy Project. I think I'm finally over the heart break of loosing 30 rock.

2) We went to the beach. I was calling everyone by their Friends names.* A woman from New York stopped to take our photo on a film camera because "we looked so california". It was cool. I gave her my email address so she could send me the picture.

3) My friend Eden sent me 2 letters and 2 polaroids. I cried.

4) I met up with someone I hadn't seen since the last day of junior high. We walked to the park and she peed in the bush. At first it was weird, but in a way, I respect her more now because of it.

5) "Do NOT give anyone more that one piece of butter. I don't care if they beg." - The parting words of this man at the soup kitchen where me, clara, and blair volunteer at.

6) "It's tragic. He's hansom, 30 years old, and worst of all, straight." - James, who also works at soup kitchen.

7) I have a new tradition. It's pizza on friday after soup kitchen. Our waiter remembered us girls from the first time we went to the restaurant, and gave us a plate of maraschino cherries since last time clara got one in her drink and we all wanted one to tie the stem into a knot. It's supposed to prove if you're a good kisser.

8) I also have a new motto. It's a.b.l.f.m.o.t.g. and it means "Always be looking for money on the ground".

There were some so-so things but this is what I'll remember. What did u do?

* Clara is Chandler, Blair is Rachel, Evan is Monica, I am Phoebe, Lucinda is Joey, but no one is Ross because no one likes him.

Darla

Blair, Evan, and Me 

My friend Audrey got me into a party at the W Hotel in Hollywood. I looooooooove the W hotel, let me tell you. We all showed up wearing black. This party was a sweet sixteen hosted by a record label. The girl who was turning sixteen, Darla, had hair like the nicest shade of purple I have ever seen. She got a portia from the record label. There were so many punk bands. Boys with ripped jeans, black hair, black fingernails. Cool party, even if I barely knew anyone. 

As I was riding my scooter, sasha, to work...

Today I was at school, talking to my friends about the time I said the word "Bootyhole" in front of the kids I babysit. I know, I'm glamourous. And professional. Anyways, right as I was saying the word "BOOTYHOLE", like, pretty loud, and more than once, one of our notorious male teachers walked by. (Mr. A, the passive-aggressive vegetarian). All my friends were laughing and laughing, and I covered my face in shame because god damn why do I always say stupid stuff while male teachers are around?

When I looked back up my nose was GUSHING BLOOD and all my friends started freaking out. To my horror, the teacher stopped and turned back around because someone shrieked. I just hid my face again and hoped that he didn't see me but he did and he walked back over, squatted down in front of me and was like "Are you okay?" At this point all my friends were laughing, and I started weeping. So he was like "I know you're in a lot of pain right now, but you need to take a deep breath."

This was probably really funny to my friends but to me, a lot was happening and I was very ashamed, so I didn't take my hands off my face I just kept crying. He said to Clara, "Hold her hand while we walk to the Nurse's office" and Clara was like "Ew, it's covered in blood". But he said, "That's not important right now."

So I had to have 2 of my friends and a man I had just said the word booty hole and cried in front of walk me to the nurses office because I can't stop blood from pouring out of my face. 

Baby's First Witchcraft: Part 2

Me and Clara went to the spirit store today. We talked to a couple people, including this one physic girl who said to me (I was holding the book in the above photograph) "Yeah, that's a good one, but I feel like there's a better one for you on on the shelf." And I thought she was going to get the better book for me, but she just stared at the shelf. So I was like "Can you show me which one it is?" And she said "No, I don't know which book it is, I just feeeel like there's a better one." I was like uh, yeah, that's really helpful.

The physic girl also told us that what we did over the weekend was REALLY DANGEROUS because we didn't clean the space, we didn't use anything for protection, we put out an offering and we're pretty sure someone died in Clara's house. She explained that although our intent was innocent, we opened up the door to anything evil. You do the same thing by using a ouija board (but she called it a spirit board) because you never know who you're contacting.

I was introduced to Wicca which is really cool because the man there explained it as "feminist witchcraft". But maybe the best part of the shop was the candles. There were penis candles, vagina candles, bride and groom candles, all different candles. It smelled really nice in there. We got the red couple candle because we're looking for love. The base of the candle is a heart and I like that the girl is taller than the boy, because both me and clara like people shorter than us.

We tried a proper love spell once it got dark. First I cleaned the space with sage and used crystals + incense for protection. So, you know, I didn't summon something evil for the third time. I really really hope it works!